I’ve started this thing where I collect little treats throughout the day. It’s sort of like a gratitude mentality, but it’s more hedonistic than that. It’s about celebrating the small joys, and maybe building some extra small joys into your day. It calls attention to the things that are luxuries or unexpected pleasures.
There was an article in the New York Times a few years ago that got me going on this. Julia Carmel, who wrote the piece, noted that the treat culture grew as a result of the pandemic. One of the people she interviewed is Gretchen Rubin (who hosts a podcast on happiness): “You have to say it’s a treat; you have to know it’s a treat. If you just do it in passing, and you don’t celebrate it as a treat, then you don’t get the benefit of it.”
For me, sleeping until I wake up on weekdays instead of setting an alarm is a little treat. Discovering we have a perfectly ripe avocado for my morning toast is a treat. So is lunch with an old friend; or Steve bringing me a Starbucks after lunch; or leaving the office a little early to take our dog Daisy for a hike.
Treats from nature
Sometimes the little treats are provided by nature. The glimpse of a brilliant bluebird on the wing. Red and yellow tulips blooming in the backyard. A hard rainstorm on a day I don’t have to leave the house. Having our son Sam in town and willing to go for a hike in the woods with me and our dog Daisy.
One of my favorite treats is to sit by our turtle pond in the backyard with a crossword puzzle or a book. The sound of the water spilling over the rocks, the sight of trees blowing in the breeze overhead, hearing birdsong or maybe the cooing of a dove or the percussion of a woodpecker — those are little treats that make me feel connected to nature. It can be even better at night, with a candle glowing in an old terra cotta lantern, and maybe an owl calling in the distance.
Moments of connection
Although it’s certainly worth the effort to plan time with friends, I find that the spontaneous moments or random run-ins are often the most joyous for me. And it doesn’t have to be my best friend in the world, just someone I’m connected to, or used to be connected to, and haven’t seen in a while. For instance, it’s a delight to run into a former Tribe employee at Whole Foods; or an old neighbor at jury duty; or have someone we used to see at church honk and wave when I’m walking the dog.
Sharing a joke with some stranger in the elevator can be a little treat. Running into a neighbor and stopping to chat is a treat. Receiving a text from one of my nieces; or having family around the dinner table; or laughing with Steve about how exuberantly Daisy greets him at the backdoor — those are all special treats for me.
Creature comforts
Sometimes my little treats are pretty basic things that happen on a regular basis, but I still find luxurious. A hot bath with a new bar of almond-scented soap. Slipping into clean sheets. Staying up too late reading a good novel. Fresh flowers. Hot coffee. A good Bourbon. Knowing we’ve got a new episode to watch of some TV series we love. The three Hershey Nuggets we’ve allowed ourselves after dinner every night for decades.
As Greyson Imm, a student quoted in the NYT article said, “You get to reward yourself by doing this thing that you would normally, but if you frame it by saying ‘it’s a treat’ or ‘it’s a reward,’ then it make it more rewarding and more fulfilling.”
Special treats that are actual luxuries
Sometimes, of course, those little treats can be indulgences that cost money. Our tradition of renting a big house on the beach and packing it with family and dogs is a treat that’s a major expense, but worth every penny. I look forward to that treat all year — and then spend the week collecting special moments of joy and love and connection.
Years ago, someone told me that for her, just having a new brand of conditioner waiting in the shower could be reason enough to get out of bed. I get that. It could be the little treat of some new makeup, or a new cashmere sweater, or some expensive shoes that I decided to splurge on.
The important thing about accumulating all these little treats, I think, is that you’re treating yourself kindly. Actually, maybe it’s that you’re calling attention to all the ways you’re already treating yourself kindly. And those treats don’t depend on you earning them, necessarily. You can generously bestow them on yourself, whether you’ve crossed everything off your to do list or not, whether you’ve had a good day or a bad one. When you make the effort to notice all the little treats of every day, perhaps you appreciate the life you’re living a little more.
